Saturday, February 26, 2005

everytin was soooo smooth for me this few daes....didnt noe y...but still feel scare...one dae the tin btw both of us haven settle....there wun be one dae i will have peace....so short this testi....dunno y...nth to sae???or wat....

ytd was a reali weird dae for me...i ask him....finali ask...and the ans was....gd...veri gd for me..but at tat point of time...i felt terible....both of us were terrible....he revealed a lot to me...and thru these...he let me knw tat...he reali trust me lotz...and both of us reali tok out hearts out...i let him noe wat i feel...and he told me everytin bout wat he feel....this kind of feelin is gd....but...the truth bout other tins were a torture....nw we're juz standing btw....each other or the other grp of pple...felt wat my frenz sae were rite...so nw the qn is...will he be able to tink like wat i tink???i can sacrifice though its terriblely sad....but can he do the same???fear again looked up for me...juz afraid tat he will give me up....didnt wan tat to happen....but if tat reali happens...i can onli sae tat....i will let him off...cuz i dun wan him to sad....leave everytin for him to decide...
den todae veri sad dae..cuz when i kept tinking..those tins tat appear in my mind is....y muz i give him up???wor bu gan xing!!!!y muz i always be the one sacrificing???cant i be selfish juz 4 this time???for me...i can onli sae...i wun give up....but if he chose to give up first....i will respect him....o lvls....wat the....i will still carry on...working hard....jia you!!!!


{lEt eVeRyTiN fLoW iN tHe WaY iT wAnS...}

these few daes was a great torture for me.....thought tat i wun be writing so painfully bout him..but didnt expet tat....
start frm sch...life was boring....common test....den format all change...everytin going here and dere...cant reali cope...but still clinging onto it tightly....pray tat God will grant me wisdom and everytin will be fine....todae el common test...5 qn....1 narrative....4 descriptve...haiz...although descriptive can change to narrative but i dun dare to take the risk....so continue writting on descriptive....pray tat nth will go wrong ^-*...den todae dunno y...juz dun have the mood to smile...kept disturbing my frenz saeing i wanna go home....:p veri childish hor..haiz...den yea headache 1 whole dae....later part of sch got flu den veri xin ku....
den bout him....tire..reali veri tire....fear lotz of tins....dunno wat to sae...reali veri scare....i noe its hard for him....veri hard...he wanna make sure tat he did not make another mistake again..so he drag onto veri long....he didnt expect tat i'm so xin ku....i reali....dunno le....dunno wat's he tinking...dunnon wat i'm tinking....i knw i cant do anitin...but the feelin of being "drag" was so terrible....nw den i knw tat :
{tHe WoRsT fEeLiN iN LuV iS nOt uNaBlE tO HaVe tHe OnE u LuV....bUt Is....NoT kNwInG wAt'S iN hIs MiNd}

{fEaR iS tHe Onli TiN iN mY sPeEcH nW.....}

sooooo long nv blog le haha...hmm...my life this few daes was like....going back to slp again...he told me sometin...so nice and sweet....but seriously i still tink tat....i dun wanna take this risk to fall aslp...somehow the first time when i fall aslp...it was soooo sweet...everyone thought we could be together....but hu noes....this terrible tin happen to me and i was woken up....feelin sad...terrible....and the feelin was like....i can blame...scold or hate him...there's juz nth i could do...den nw....everybody feels tat we could be together...but will it be like tat???my heart was telling me...yea tat's rite...but my feelins was like....tellin me reminding me how painful it is to wake up...soooo scare....reali.....den haiz.....
this few daes test test and test...common test reaching so wun blog for sometime..aniway gd luck for my test and "slp".....

hey hey todae veri veri fun...went for rock climbing....den so fun...at first climb...okie la not tire onli felt quite lost when i didnt noe where my hands and legs should go as i go higher up....haha....den yea climb those straight walls 3 times..soo fun wanna climb more actuali....but becuz i wanted to try the slanting one so haha gave tat up...when i was climbing the slanting one...wao haha..so tire!!!!haha..den got up the first slope...was like rather motivated by my frenz and the height i'm in..so didnt wanna give up even though my hands and legs was like...wanna cramp but nv cramp like tat haha....den continue to fought on haha...veri pain the hand and leg..den yea went until a height whereby i felt tat...is okie to give up...cuz no matter how determine i am....muz accept the fact...i dun have enough strength to put myself upwards le...so gave up at the third panel???haha...den yea was happy at the height i went....but of cuz besides me climbing and "fighting" upwards...my frenz aso help me lotz...esp the belayers and some of my frenz..actuali tried to lift me up haha...dunno how much they helped me....onli noe tat they helped LOTZ aso put in lotz of efforts encouraging me haha....yea so can sae tat the height i went was both made by me and my frenz...and aso they gave me advise on where to put my hands and legs..haha and den thru this..can reali feel tat....yea the wall not easy wor ....but no matter wat this experience was both fun and challenging ^-*



{iF i'M gIvEn AnOtHeR cHaNcE...wIlL iT bE tHe SaMe???}

tire dae again haha...sch was again a short one...had my bio test...okie la thank God for guidance...aso got back my previous bio test paper...haha did extremely bad cuz i didnt study....not i lazy..but i didnt knw tat the test is on tat dae....but thank God i still manage to pass...guess i cant be tat greedy to wan more....actuali was intending to go TP wif my frenz...but cancel ....not becuz of wat..but becuz i felt tat wat hui jin sae was right..so guess will go Tp again but not this yr....haha....okieso didnt go TP but...haha went orchard instead...had a wonderful time wif my wonderful grp of frenz....bought a shirt and a new pair of earrings!!! haha....the shirt was rather scary cuz at first my mum dun let me buy de...was tinking of bluffing my mum tat the shirt veri cheap....but haha belinda got it right....i didnt bluff my mum...i told her the real tin...and haha she didnt scold me!!! thank God for tat....
den todae my frenz told me wat they tink bout me and him...again they nearly led me into a deep slp....but i didnt cuz i didnt allow myself to fall....the experience of falling asleep was terrible...no matter wat....haiz...althought i reali hope wat my frenz sae was true..but...haiz....


{oNe WoRd FrM u DeStRoYs My WhOlE wOrLd}

ytd played badminton during pe..haah den todae muscle was rather painful....slept quite late ytd...but todae haha not as sleepy as be4...so gd....den went to family centre todae to check out the CIP tin...went there....the person went for lunch...den both me and angela went to my hse..do hw..den after tat go eat..den eat le....went again to family centre...but...he went for meeting...wat the.....haiz....den went to sch...so sian ....nth to do....haiz...after tat the person caled angela at arnd 4 plus???haha den haiz...tok for few mins...everytin settle le...den haiz felt tat..we wait for few hrs....juz 4 tat few mins of tok....so sickening....den went home....haiz tml bio test...havent study haha....dunno how...aniway todae was a rather ...dunno how 2 describe dae for me....

{hEy FrEnZ tHx 4 eVeRyTiN u GuYs GaVe Me....tHx FoR tOlErAtInG mE...& cRaPpInG wIf mE}

todae reali tire...dunno y.....went to sch den quite okie la.....den after tat went for morning run....dist not long....but veri sian.....run run run.....den after tat..wao veri hungry....den no mood for lesson...haiz dun understand y teachers wanna plan this way....so hungry how to study???haha...den got back the am test paper todae...Thank God...i pass!!!!veri happy....thought will fail actuali cuz didnt do 3 qns...onli like write some steps but didnt get the last ans....den teacher veri gd give me marks for the correct steps...haha den i didnt reali "throw" away 9 marks....den after tat....the qns behind....is noe how to do...but i thought i will have lotz of careless cuz when doing was rather scare...den mind not working veri well haha.....but reali thank God tat i onli got 1 careless....so afterall i pass haha....after sch went to the new water plantation...the journey was fun...haha crapping wif my frenz the whole journey haha...den the bus veri quiet onli got our voice haha so funny sia....den when reach there.....haha okie la there veri high tech lor....the toilet door aso got auto open de....dun ask me wats tat cuz i aso dunnno haha...den was interesting la cuz can c veri special tins...onli felt sad tat didnt manage to c more cuz no time.....guess so la haha...den yea...todae was a wonderful dae....onli tat fell sick on the way home dunno y...haha got terrible flu....still reminding myself not to fall "asleep" again....or i guess i wun nv be able to "wake up"....


{tHe fEeLiNg Of FaLlInG aSlEeP iS wOnDeRfUl...BuT tHe WaKiNg Up PaRt WaS tErRiBlE}

hmm.....todae rather special cuz is valentine dae ma haha....every yr was the same for me...got valentine dae aso no use haha....den yea todae was rather slpy in sch.....forgot to do hw ytd so rush thru the nite...den was toking to my fren on phone....den after tat went to slp....to me tat time alrdy quite late...den todae in sch got headache ar....cuz not enough slp....
my life...was like....everyone had been telling me the same tin...but is not i dun wan...i juz dun wan myself to get hurt again...finali my mindset was like "frenz" den .....haiz.....kept telling myself the same tin everytime....although its true tat i haven forget ....but at least tins doesnt hurt so much nw....so i wish to continue like tat...the tins my frenz sae maybe rite.....but dun forget..it may be wrong too....if it's wrong...den how???picking myself up again??it wun be tat easy le....if i were to choose...i rather continue wat was like nw...den....those guessing tins....dun guess too much....if tins are true...they will be revealed themselves...looking back...i onli could sae tat....God reali blessed me wif wonderful frenz...frenz whom i can consult...tok to...and trust....^-*
tml sian lei haha...need to run....haha actuali aso quite excited la..cuz no need to sit till backside pain haha....can run....den haha...pray tat God will bless me wif the stamina He gave me during the xx country :p and i knw tat He will....

{bOtH oF uS kNeW tAt We MiZ hIm LoTz....bUt U r E oNe WhOm mOvE hIm FiRsT}

hey hey ~~~~ haha surprisingly....haha got arnd 2 daes nv blog le....haha....actuali reali didnt noe wat to sae...mani tins happen these few daes....relationship seems to be the most popular topic this yr....seen lotz of relationship...fall....grow....and fall again....felt sad for them....y izzit tat guys can take tins so easily and gers r always the ones tinkin bout it....its so funny tat God created tins to be like tat....when guys hurt ger so much...they make them do terrible tins..so whose fault is it????how mani pple in this world can actuali sae: forget it we can still be frenz???......was tinkin bout this tin for a long time...but felt tat...actuali its not always guys fault...sometimes gers may do sometin to cause a matter to hapen....aniway it takes two hands to clap....
secondly....was aso tinkin bout another tin....how do pple define flirt???? a ger tok to a grp of guys izzit call flirt???sometimes pple give me a feeling tat juz by toking to guys...this is flirt....but.....forget it haha...aniway this world is unfair...sometimes pple can do sometins....but not all can....
was rather sian these few daes....ignore a person msg for like...haha dunno la....felt tat maybe its tat he lie to me be4 and i juz cant bring myself to believe him again...den actuali wanna go out...but was like dunno y no mood...aiyo my life is in total mess nw....

hey hey haaha...ytd didnt update anitin cuz dunno wat to sae haha....ytd was new year eve and yea..eevrytin went veri smoothly for me....went to sch...den this few daes...some of my frenz ask me...can i reali forget him???this qn...i was asking myself too...can i reali???seriously i dunno the ans...in my heart nw..the onli ans i noe is....i accept God's plan...and i will live everydae happily wif the strength of the Lord...like wat one of my fren sae...the feeling of sadness will increase...if u allow it to....pple r in control of feelings...so they r the 1 responsible for how they feel....
todae got a few hong bao haha..den yea...veri veri sian cuz nth to do.....haiz everydae the same....got hong bao frm my parents...den they told me to study hard for my o lvls...when i heard tat...felt ...dunno how 2 sae...those feeling was like..if i didnt get the result they expect me to get...they will be terribly sad...haiz..den todae c lotz of tins...suddenly felt tat...God is veri fair in His creation....some pple..they may have got a veri nice look...veri attractive...but their character somehow sux lotz...some...they may have veri gd character..but out of their 10 character...there will be the nineth one which reali sux ....den some pple they may have gd looks gd figure...everytin aso veri gd...but somehow there will be one of their character which cause pple to dislike them....for me...i feel tat....i'm not perfect but i thank God tat he created me in a way tat he tinks is the best for me...and i'm contented for hu i am...the frenz i got..and i family i have ^-*happy chinese new year to all!!!!

ytd got to knw tat my GB cap was wif yvonne...haha dunno y she will have it...but Thank God cuz i found the cap tat i've been wearing for bout 3 yrs....got feeling de lei..haha so was rather sad when i discover tat i lose it....but its okie at least nw i knw its wif yvonne....den todae was rather a tire dae...cant slp well ytd dunno y...den todae wake up veri veri early....den was like blur blur dunno wat i doing....sch was like...boring boring and lastly boring....den after recess is amath test...haha cant finish actualli...is knw how to do...but.haiz proving identites need lotz of time de lei...for me i need 30 to 45 mins for juz 1 qn....den got 3 proving identities qn den onli got 45 mins to do...den other den the 3 qn..still got like 7 to 8 more qn need to do..no need to tink aso noe i cant finish....so i gave up the 3 proving identites qn...directly skip to the rest...manage to finish the rest but not the proving identites ones...haha den count here count there..die le lor...this paper...but i still pray hard to God tat a miricle will happen....haha..den was like after the test...the rest of the daes the lesson was like...wao so fast finish le...den juz blink my eyes onli...the dae over le...haha so rush home for lunch den rush out again for piano...was like haha rather a funny dae...den sometin happen again after my piano....tat's my another dae....thank God for tat....^-*

hey hey....finali can go service todae...wasnt there for like 2 weeks???haiz...den todae was like..fun great etc...den after service went for lunch...den go shopin wif shannon and angela...haha fun and finali can go shopin again le...haha...was like rottin at home le...den yea todae shannon bought a new shirt for new yr...and finali??den erm yea den i bought a new hp accessory...veri happy...den yea after all these den went home...was veri tire...tml amath test..gosh...dun feel like studying....haiz...den haha be4 going home..shannon (which is my la po ) haha dun mistaken we not lesbian....onli veri veri veri gd fren haah...den she gave me a surprise haah....quite funny la....aniway juz thx her lotz for tat surprise....den yea tats my dae....dae by dae...tml piano lesson...

juz manage to finish my hw juz nw and here again to write sometin....todae got parade lor...den okie la wear full u....is like quite warm but nvm use to it le..den todae be4 parade becuz gastric not veri gd...so didnt actuali eat much...share some wif my frenz...den was like okie lor...den ate kfc...at first my throat was like okie le...onli stil got cough but not pain le...after the kfc...haiz pain again...so scare will fever again...if like tat surely kana scolding again de...haiz...den fever go away le..no more flu..onli on thurs haha took flu medicine in the afternoon slp till 7...den tok cough syrup at 8 plus and slp again haah....pig lei me..den erm yea not bad la this few daes...thank God for curing me...den nw the sore throat is like...haiz hu ask me to eat kfc again...den erm haiz...another bad tin tat happen to me was tat....i lost my GB cap !!!!! haiz....was like changing out of my uniform den pack everytin...veri tire so nv noitce wat i take....den like forgot to bring the cap home...haiz lost le lost le...but nvm la cuz aniway i buying new one cuz the colour was like....bout to turn white le..haha...okie la nth more to add..juz pray tat i can get the new cap be4 the nxt time we're suppose to wear full u..

starting a brand new dae todae....everytin was fine and yea i experience frenship...is not tat i dun experience in the past...but nw my heart is juz purely frenship and no more relationship le.....den erm todae yea....fri....rather short dae....everytin pass veri fast...all lessons were as boring as usual..den MT lesson was like kana scolded by the chinese teacher...haiz so boring....den went home after tat..actuali wanted to go woodlands wif my frenz..but was rather tire and sick...so didnt go wif them....stayed at home to do my homework...sian sian sian...haiz den went to take uniform frm joleen....was preparing mine and hers...tml wear full u...haiz haha aniway no matter wat...one dae ended like this...juz hope tat everytin will be fine for me and i thank God for everytin...thank Him for the pple he gave me in my darkest time..and the wonderful words he gave me to encourage me....

ytd was a terrible and saddening dae 4 me....accepting the fact tat he's not mine....somehow i felt tat God reali showed how real he is in my life...last month i was like arguing wif my mum bout the thurs combine parade tin...our relationship was rather strained ....so i prayed to God ...and suprisely he took the combine parade away and BB and GB no longer need to go...was happy at tat time cuz my heart was filled wif God's presence....den secondly was abt him...i prayed to God saeing tat im tire and stress bout this matter....i lose my focus on my studies and lotz of tins becuz of him and i felt bad....so i leave everytin to Him...trusting tat He will find a way out for me...truely He indeed open a path for me...which is...on tat dae i prayed to Him..the nxt dae joleen msg me telling me tat the guy*******i was heartbroken...my world fell...but in my heart i thank God for his plan..i was extremly sad but at least i knw tat...tats wat God tinks is best 4 me...
guess this is the last time i'm writing tins bout him so painfully....everytin was like a long deep zzzZZZZzzzzz .....this ZZZzzzzzz was interupted when i got to knw tat tin....i didnt blame tat guy....instead i thank him for craving such wonderful dreams in my slp....though in the end i was forced to wake up...but at least these dreams accompany me for quite some time and was the best part of my life... i hope tat even though both of us r not meant for each other....we can be the best of frenz and no matter wat...i will still be there 4 him as a fren when he ned someone.....

went to sch as usual....sat down for assembly...den take out bk to read...so happy todae read quite a lot ....the storybk quite thick...to me la haha....den started one whole dae wif all those lessons going on..so sian dunno y like tat....nw adaes the lessons all seem so boring...den todae did the chem test..quite hard...haiz dunno wat kind of result will it be..hope it will be gd cuz i luv chem haha...den todae got a news...which is the parade for every thurs will be cancelled for BB and GB....veri happy cuz knw tat God had heard our prayers...finali my parents wun get angry over this matter le....and we dun ned to go for those wu liao tins...thank God for tat...was actuali asked to sng on stage by the GB teacher...wat...haiz veri paiseh sia..den the rehearsal nobody went..she was veri angry and sae we bring bad reputattion to GB....was sry for Miss Ding cuz she had to face our wrongdoings....so sry....den todae didnt actuali quite tok to him..but he sae hi to me..and i smile to him... but i feel like dying...sometin happen..hapen until i wanna let out my feeling aso cant....everytin die off in me

todae quite funny dae....went to sch den was like....tire tire tire...den first lesson chem haiz...so sian but better e math haiz...math ws like....so long the time wun pass....den worst when it comes to physic...wao the chap was like....so boring juz hate physic lotz....haiz den after tat we went for body check up..saw him at tat place...den was like...happy??sad???haha i reali dunno...den was like....we check frm 11 to like....12.30..wa liao so long sia den stil dun let us go eat...den was like hungry until can swallow a cow....den after tat miss yen let us go eat for 30 mins...den fine veri gd..after tat arnd 1 period time went for assembly....tat's my dae....haha

eNcI

Mood:for ever happy go lucky

looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy.

will not get up set easily( if she does than its no small prob )

dun ask her to sit down quietly cuz its like killing her

will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern.

a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt.

often sae sometin which lets u tink whether u should hate of luv her

a free spirit and does not like to stay home.

likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.

will listen if she respect you.

likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.

a no nonsense woman because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.

sees problems in her love life as another funny story.

screw tins up rather easily but nv allows tins to continue to fail clumsy and it is in her nature.

very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends.

could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money.

a paranoid.

loves sports.

likes going straight and being straight forward.

will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something









.God,fReNz,hIm

.hElLo kItTy,h@pPy h$3,t@t+y b3@r

.family(will it be the same??)

.music,piano,guitar,violin,drum,cello

.cheerleading(it rox 4eva),my hp,happiness,shopping

.lotz n lotz of real nice clothes (top n bottom), shoes tat loks special to me bla bla bla

.chocolates , and aso not to forget my meiji coco milk which i cant start my dae well without tat ^-*

DREAMS

. wishlist .
.wish everyone happy,frenz happy,Him happy n accept christ,pass grade 8 wif at least merit,gd health

.wish to have lotz n lotz of clothes(well which ger will find her clothes too much???)

.wish buy lotz of happy hse n hello kitty tins

.wish everytin to go smoothly for everyone

.wish for a transparent grand piano (earn $ lor :p),guitar,transparent violin

.six_ties will always be the same like before

.be able to play a piece of music tat belongs to me

.for a real nice n wonderful bdae

GLAMOUR

tat's me
shermaine jessilyn qian angela jocelyn jolene sarah jolie leonard joleen mei xiang sumei yvonne jun wen melissa jiawen chern fern jeslyn jocez cindy nicholas eileen elvis fifa melvin sabrina xinyan hui wen ting felicia meili jia ying yingsi yeok ling ru yin jason derrick info darryl debbie hui ling heng kai ken baby alissa shu hua alvin david brenda jonathan nico jing han shui fan hong hwee diana

&archive

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006

SPLENDOUR

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GRAMOPHONE

GLORY

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