Wednesday, June 28, 2006

okie im pissed off n im reali....wat kinda family is this?? okie mum n dad...well i didnt sae u guys cant scold me but pls scold wif reasons can !!! how can u guys juz scold anihow u like??? wat do u guys treat me as???? im ur daughter k!!! was so stress after a dae in sch n when i got home tatis wat my dad sae :


dad: told u dun use so much sms c la nw exceed again
enci : i didnt noe tat M1 count like tat de ma.... its suppose to start counting on the dae u sign up the plan bu shi ma???
dad: i alrdy told u le y u so stubborn??
enci: i dunno rite
dad: io alrdy told u dun use too much first after i clarify den u use y so stubborn????



tat's wat happen..okie im at fault ya i noe....but can u juz dun keep on saying n saying like a radio??? sch is so tiring n stressful n all u does is like a radio..wat the...

n my mum adds in...n my bro adds in.. come on!!!! wat is this??? can i get some concern n peace at least??!!??!!

so the test was kinda fine dunno how "well" ive done juz leave it to God....im bad ya i noe...my temper is like dunno like wat...but all i wan is understanding family members...they had been scolding me unreasonably these few daes..wat is this??? if im at fault i admit but if im not at fault dun force me to admit..pls pals remind me to control..im afraid tat 1 dae i will juz step out of the hse n nv return

ive always been tinking...y is it tat everybody's bdae everytime so fun....so much laughter..but mine is always so quiet n plain....juz becuz its nov?? or wat???


i hate it when u guys wana groom someone n when the fire starts to sparks off u guys juz blew it away like tat...im pissed off ya??? ( okie im not referring to pepper lunch ya??) dun ask me wat im toking bout cuz i dun wish to sae anitin n commment anitin


im being to doubt my family...my mum dun understands me ..she onli noes wat she tinks is best for me...but am i happy??? ya maybe becuz of the material tins i got..my dad always juz noe how to care but not communicate...my bro??? he juz continue to be the clown in my life..wat is this>?>??? maybe i should be happy first cuz at least this family is still a whole one..gosh i juz hate it!

mum: wei miss ng got call u anot??
en ci : huh call me for wat??
mum:ur theory results la
enci:no she nv call...y how much i got???
mum:u tink lei??? how much u tink u deserve to have
enci:wa lao dun play wif me quickly sae la
mum:u got 62....



okie so wat i flunk my theory test by juz 4 marks??? so wat if ive given up my piano juz becuz i cant find time for it...so wat if ive lost tins tat ive once had since i was four yrs old??? my life still goes on...the world still spins like nobody's business..n when the sun shines again its a brand new dae...okie pals...no wories ya..u guys noe me well enuff.....i can cry veri easily..but when im forced to strive on for sometin..i will not drop one tear...


okie so here's my plan for the rest of the yr :
1) im gonna play my piano real hard n get my grade asap
2) im gonna study real hard
3) im gonna grow up!
4)im gonna learn how to solve probs tactfully
5) continue at pepper lunch unless he quits (well marry a chicken den follow one )
6)im gonna take real gd care of my body

happy bdae to jing han ytd....ytd kinda fun????tok lotz n ya nice dae...my world was like suddenly so mani tins went wrong....pa dun ask wat happen...i dun intend to sae...lets c wat i can do ba...
i flunk my theory test....
nobody noes how i feel..onli God...but ive disappointed Him....

can i have some simplicity in my world!!!!!

well ive seen wats going on....im blur by everytin...dun wana c n dun wanna listen..the world is no longer as simple as wat ive seen....im losing wat ive got in the past..n forget it...this is life

okie so here i m writting bout wat's happening to this world which seems to rotate in an opp direction...


went to chalet on thurs!!! yesh it veri fun !!! happy sia cuz wif pepper lunch stafff n its reali veri nice....kinda give lao da a big bye bye n hua n jing han their bdae celebration..firstly in the morning i meet him to go to yi jie hse to marinate chicken etc....he was veri late n i was veri tire cuz i worked 9.5 hrs the previous dae so im reali veri tire..okie den when we met we booked a taxi n went to yi jie hse..was reali sry to him cuz my hand reali no strength to carry the tins so he veri xin ku...den erm after marinate chicken n buy all the tins..we went to the chalet le...den erm we slept n waited till darling n the rest come..we played pool la etc den erm went a lot of place la..after tat at nite we got BBQ it was veri fun n nice..mani ppl came n slowly more n more ppl was in the chalet..at nite it was real happy...we played a lot n they bouight absolute vodka...i was kinda upset on wat ive done..its wrong i noe..im sry..but i reali had fun...the vodka n heinken previously made me real ***....all i rmb was tat i was veri super giddy n high..i was veri worried for jing han tat i refused to slp..he was veri upset cuz he noe i veri xinku..all i rmb was tat i was crying too ger when u cried..u noe how much it hurts to c u feeling so terrible inside???n when i cried he was at lost he dunno wat to do..




boi i was touched ytd..even though im *** ....but i kinda still noe wat's happenign arnd...i can feel ur presence n hug..when i veri xin ku u hugged me n pat me to slp....u begged me n slp n leave jing han alone..sry i didnt listen to u cuz im reali veri worried...n u were veri worried for me i noe.,.u refuse to slp unless im aslp...i kept going to toliet n u held me tight to prevent me frm falling..whenever i turnand fiddgy u will hold me even tighter n pat me more gentler hoping i can go to slp ...i veri xin ku veri giddy n u were there stil holding me n putting feng you on my head...when i cried i dunno anitin but i heard u sae : u dun like tat u like tat i veri heartache u noe....boi im sry i noe u hate to let me drink vodka n beer but u still let me drink cuz i reali wana have it..n in the end u didnt slp the whole nite cuz i cant reali slp due to the giddness...im reali touched when i sense ur presence...even though u r lost n u dunno wat to do u didnt give up but u continue to hug n hold me tight...i feel ur luv..im hurt too boi when i c u so lost...but at tat point of time i juz dunno..i dunno whether i should pay more attention to jing han or myself..


jinghan i juz wanna let u noe no matter wat happens to ur world..u still got frenz arnd..u can choose not to tell us how sad u r...but juz hope tat u can let us be there for u ...juz wanna let u noe when u need someone juz give me a call..i will get to u asap...


darling nico pls wake up n get urself straight...do u noe how worried i m todae !!!!

be4 everytin juz let me n my laopo take a photo...haha
n ta da...a sitting v extension ^-*

double base demo...n tat's my leg haha
n when the guys hold me....haha bad wor.....
nvm gers power..haha its always better
double base extension wor... bad one haha ke lian von cherie n the rest...kinda tiring

hmmm finali back frm church camp...its was fun ma??? gosh i still cant forget the houseflies arnd, yellow water , outdoor bathing n lastly the foreva similar food for all the meals...but overall i guess all these r not important...most importantly is how ive experience God thru this camp..i admit during the sec n third msg i totallly went blank...but for the first one i was totally awake...i listened to everytin n i was upset...i dunno wat im tinking n wat i wan..i still need time..like wat von sae..onli when i feel tat im reali ready n commited to give up wat im supposed to give up.den i will get baptism..if not..sry...i can onli sae im not ready....the best tin bout the camp iguess is the pool day when we played in the swimming pool.... the cheerleading stuff n everytin..haah..von we can do it de...we muz be determine ya????we muz try first..if we reali fail den nvm cuz its God's will..but anitin be4 tat we cannot give up..no matter how hard it is to make cheerleading perfect int he gers..we muz try...


todae i was reali shock n touched...i hate to spend his $$$ i reali hate..okie pals guess wat...he bought me the converse shoe i liked not the colour but the same pattern cuz dun have my size...den 2 hello kitty stuf to stick on my phone...i was reali happpy n upset cuz i noe how hard he had worked for his tat amount of $$$... he saw tat i liked those when we're shoping n he juz bought me those...i was real happy..when i saw how reluctantly n unwilling he was when it comes to buying his own tins..i nearly wanna cry...y boi?? y u rather buy my tins n spend on me...but on urself u r unwilling to do tat?? i admit if i were u i will do the same tin..but boi do u noe i reali heartache a lot..i reali veri heartache..boi i wanna let u noe...at ur times of darkness n tireness...if u r willing..juz reahc out ur phone cuz i will always be there waiting quietly for u....


[i love u n ive always do
i will nv leave u nor forsake u
i will juz wait quietly
till the dae u rmb
tat there is still a me]




i will always be there boi i promise....



im happy boi...we went out todae..no more buying of tins ya?? we save $$ tgt..dun be upset when u cant buy ur tins..rmb ive always sae..u still got me..

okie so my plan is : im buying shirt for him...shoe have to wait ar..suddenly take out so much $$ my mum will kill me esp when my bank book is wif my mum n so is my posb card...

okie so erm this few daes im working...n erm ya got my cashier password...michael sae its supposed to be out veri early de..but they didnt let me noe most probably is becuz they thought they told me be4 le..until tat dae michael was blur y im using "spare" password...den erm on tat particular dae my left thumb was caught in btw the cashier cupboard...michael didnt noe my thumb was there n he juz pushed the cupboard so hard tat my thumb nearly fall off..haha my skin was kinda had a slight cut n kinda swollen ba...the joint was veri pain..n ytd guess wat...my same injured thumb was caught again btw the cabinet where the sink is haha n ta da!!! my joint hurt even more...luckily im playing the piano tgt wif miss june so which means to sae i onli need to use 1 hand...so ya luckil its my left hand which got hurt...n im playing wif my right hand ^-*
den erm ya reali had a gd talk wif him tat dae....den erm ya ive done wat im supposed to do...hope tat we will be better each dae...
pa...u're rite...im not supposed to give up..i should give a shot...ive did it n ya everytin turn out fine...but i guess this might be my last shot ba...i hope tat if the same tin happens again he could take the shot..cuz it shows tat i meant sometin to him....
darling nico n jing han...thx for coming down on tat dae...reali appreciated...was kinda shocked too...so sry tat i refused to pick up ani calls....cuz i was reali down n hurt... i wanna be alone..but no worried ya?? i wun do anitin de la :p....darling nico i noe u kinda got a shock but im fine alr wor...sry to let u dan xin tat time...n jing han too...
darling u veri fortunate wor..haha u r the first guy in my life hu c me cry 2 times..dunno y onli in front of u im able to cry...in front of pa i dun wish to cry...
hmmm finali finished my e learning....den erm ya tml going to malaysia for church camp...bye guys!!

hmmm guess wat..im having a big headache..but im stil studying!!!! gosh can u imagine..my head is like storing so mani tins...n have to complete todae!!! cuz i noe tml i surely wun have time to do de..working tml...at 12 till 10..yesh!!! finali working long hrs..gosh im in need of $$$ shouldnt have wasted my $$$ on so mani tins..actuali i aso nv spend much la..but aiya come on admit ger!!! u spend a lot!!! okie so erm here i m saing again im spending like nobody's business..n nw im aiming for sometin....a new converse shoe!!! cuz its like so nice n erm ya its nice okie....its purple in colour n it has got two heads if i were to describe the design haha one purple n one green..gosh can u imagine!!!! the colour combi is so wonderful....haha n erm ya juz called my gers for parade this sat...finished revision...nw starting e learning..o man hong hwee im starting e learning!!!! fast huh? haha....den erm ya gonna practice my song if not during camp im gonna ma lu le...n guess wat..i havent print out the scores!!! haha gosh wat a "effective " pianist i m ..gona list the tins im gona do .. so here they r : practice my piano, complete my e learning, call the 2 missing gers.. n i tink tat's all...o ya need to preapre my uni if not tml cant go work....be pals....

darling!!!!i noe wat u wanna sae ytd le..i tink so haha...if u reali luv some one u wun care hu sacrifice more..u will juz sacrifice..cuz u luv tat person...im willing to be the one sacrificing ^-*
xie xie ni darling !

days went by bla bla bla....darling aka nico might be rite in wat he sae...i agree wif him bout the sacrificing part...wait till im recharged ba darling..
have been going to the lib wif my darling n jing han this 2 daes..completed some revision...gonna work hard in my studies ya??
im going away to malaysia for camp 11 till 14 june..pals cya!!!!

im waiting here..quietly..till the dae u decided to come n fetch me...u promised me tat u wun be the same as him...but wateva u r doing is exactly the same..i dunno wat's ur motive or aim...i juz noe tat lonliness is wat i hate most..n nw u r giving me tat...ive nv wanna blame u for tat..for leaving me alone..cuz i noe u aso bu hao shou...but ...wat can i do???the whole tin was so quiet n peaceful...i need some colours...dun paint me a pic when u dun have enuff colours...i hate to sae the same tin i commented on him before....im worried for u..worried for everytin..n at the same time im bleeding...wat's the point of ***when ***
i told u im going malaysia...but u sae : i forgot....u sae u will miss me..but ani actions??? no...den wat's the point of saying....im going away for 4 daes n u did nth..u r sooooo busy tat im nth....maybe ur heart is bleeding too cuz u reali will miss me..but u did nth to show me...am i supose to guess??? boi im drained out...mentally n physically



[im bleeding..u noe ma???]


[all i wan is u to be there...words without action is nth...juz nth]

gosh im so tempted sia..so mani kitty tins r out to tempt me...stop!!! haah gonna control ya....kinda freak out by the world's logic on luv n all these...cant the world be more innocent n simple???

okie so here i m complaining again...haiz church camp so damn sian..im the onli one in the grp..how can like tat treat me...im the onli teen ger n dennis is the onli teen boi...so unfair sia...tink le aso sian....dun reali wana go..but no choice...$$ give le...nw im beginning to sense god's discipline..gosh wat on earth is happening to me...nth seems rite...oh faeces....

egg: all i wanna sae was..im rather disappointed in u...is there no friendship btw us??


nic: pls dun be there for me.pls rmb the fact tat im onli ur mei..so dun do anitin tat is over wat u r supposed to do...dote me like my kor....n tat's it..ive suffered enuff for u n tat the end...if we're meant to be we willl be tgt alr

okie so on thurs i went out wif fang hui n li ting...haha actuali is i go alone de..cuz i wanna get sometin for him..den ask if fang hui wanna go along..she sae okie..den after tat li ting came along as well..den we went tgt...gave him tins le den went home..fri n sat was kinda gd..den sun was damn tiring..was bombarded wif lotz of tins by my aunt..fear is within me..wat they sae was rite..its the future im loking at...boi dun disappoint me pls

hmmm ytd gave him sometin..i bought a box frm prints , a tiramisu cake which he had always wanted to have a taste of, a hp pouch which he always wanted one cuz he finds tat his phone is veri "exposed", stars which i folded when i went to KL tat time whenever i miss him n aso the hearts tat ive folded tat nite....gave him all these tins...i aso dunno y i wanna give..juz wana give him as our th month present n aso our 123 dae gift.. he was veri touched when he saw the tiramisu...juz wan him to be happy..
o ya thx pals..both of us okie le...tat dae i was reali shock of wat ive sae...i went total blank...reali.... cried to slp....cried when i woke up....cried when darling n jing han came to look for me... its 3 times wor...im reali veri guilty n sry but i dunno wat to do..ive always been doted by him....suddenly the one whose angry wif me is the one hu doted me the most..den wat am i suppose to do??? i reali dunno..all i noe is i wanna give him sometin..tins tat r frm my bottom of my heart... so i gave him a bottle of heart..a letter...tat's all frm my heart..tins i wanted to tel him..den tins juz went better...n finali he forgave me..
finali hols le..muz work hard for all my sub....n do well!!!!
was kinda freak out when i heard wat jing han sae...all i wanna tell u ger...is to reali take care...tins will be beter tat...it all needs time...got anitin muz sae out...dun keep to urself...

eNcI

Mood:for ever happy go lucky

looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy.

will not get up set easily( if she does than its no small prob )

dun ask her to sit down quietly cuz its like killing her

will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern.

a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt.

often sae sometin which lets u tink whether u should hate of luv her

a free spirit and does not like to stay home.

likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.

will listen if she respect you.

likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.

a no nonsense woman because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.

sees problems in her love life as another funny story.

screw tins up rather easily but nv allows tins to continue to fail clumsy and it is in her nature.

very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends.

could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money.

a paranoid.

loves sports.

likes going straight and being straight forward.

will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something









.God,fReNz,hIm

.hElLo kItTy,h@pPy h$3,t@t+y b3@r

.family(will it be the same??)

.music,piano,guitar,violin,drum,cello

.cheerleading(it rox 4eva),my hp,happiness,shopping

.lotz n lotz of real nice clothes (top n bottom), shoes tat loks special to me bla bla bla

.chocolates , and aso not to forget my meiji coco milk which i cant start my dae well without tat ^-*

DREAMS

. wishlist .
.wish everyone happy,frenz happy,Him happy n accept christ,pass grade 8 wif at least merit,gd health

.wish to have lotz n lotz of clothes(well which ger will find her clothes too much???)

.wish buy lotz of happy hse n hello kitty tins

.wish everytin to go smoothly for everyone

.wish for a transparent grand piano (earn $ lor :p),guitar,transparent violin

.six_ties will always be the same like before

.be able to play a piece of music tat belongs to me

.for a real nice n wonderful bdae

GLAMOUR

tat's me
shermaine jessilyn qian angela jocelyn jolene sarah jolie leonard joleen mei xiang sumei yvonne jun wen melissa jiawen chern fern jeslyn jocez cindy nicholas eileen elvis fifa melvin sabrina xinyan hui wen ting felicia meili jia ying yingsi yeok ling ru yin jason derrick info darryl debbie hui ling heng kai ken baby alissa shu hua alvin david brenda jonathan nico jing han shui fan hong hwee diana

&archive

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006

SPLENDOUR

{ insert tagboard here.} p/s: cbox preferred.

GRAMOPHONE

GLORY

layout} headoverheels {c}
pictures} deviantart
brushes} 100x100
image host} imageshack
photoshop} adobe photoshop 7.0