Tuesday, May 31, 2005

todae went to sch early in the morning when in the fact tat we've finish our o lvl chinese..haiz guess this whole month will be a complete torture for us..lessons were like continuous its juz so sickening...veri tire and my eyes were like...so painful...ytd my nose nearly drop out le..todae my eye's turn...haiz .....todae bio for arnd 3.5 hrs...veri tire but yea the lesson was fun..learn bout reproduction....haha quite er xin but yea was interesting and all of us took it serious...learn and study the chap as mature bio students....quite funny la actuali or should i sae amazing...when i see bout god's work..i was like...its reali veri amazing to c how a baby grow inside the womb and how everytin juz starts and haha a new life was brought!!!!ask boout m mum how i was born...haha she told me : wao u ar...u nearly die if not is i....sooo scary when i heard she sae everytin..and bega to felt tat...yea God even protect me before i noe him....when i was juz a new born baby....he blessed me...thx god for tat....
okie here goes a story again...there's this guy and this ger..the guy is rather busy but yea he still cherish this ger a lot cuz of how he treat this ger...its obvious tat he cherish her ltz and didnt waa give up ani tin in the relationship...when i c this whole tin..to me i feel tat the guy reali sacrifice quite lot...yea the ger is tire veri tire...but if she gonna look at everytin ..the time when this guy show his love and concern for her....she would feel tat everytin afterall is worth it..sometins in te world is juz so funny.....when some pple wanna ahve a nice stead and wateva..they wun have...but those hu actuali have such a caring stead they tend to complain more....so wat is suppose to happen???
but pple should learn..learn how to be contended....cntend wif every single dae god created for them ..be it happy sad or angry or unplesant...afterall tey should be happy tat they r still alife and god is still there for them....

back frm lunch....finali o lvl chinese finish le....was veri confident wif paper 2..cuz yea i noe tat paper i noe how to do...den paper 1..yea did my best..go according to God's promting...dunno correct ma..juz gonna wait for the results...God bless me ba...i dun wan to be disappiointed...actuali wanna go cry out todae de...but guess God dun wan me to do so...so he gave me flu todae..the whole chinese paper i was sneezing..haha so ke lian those near me de...surely veri noisy one...so wat...my head was like spinning and my nose is like half way out...bout to drop out le..so painful..den actuali wanna go angela hse de..but reali cannot tahan...whe i was bout to leave my hse...wao the nose reali pain....so freaking tire nw..going piano soon...veri veri tire....reali....everytin juz went pass me....a lot of pple have been living in misery...all complaining bout tins..how bad tins were how unfair tins were.....haiz....tins r indeed veri unfair...some pple can have but not all....some pple were blessed but not all.....tat's life ba....

okie wat im going to sae nw...dunno....juz gonna sae tat..im veri veri tire...went for dinner when i got home frm angela hse...wao the diner was damn full...but dunno y i still feel like having a cup of pure chocolate frm coffee bean...so tell my mama and we went to sun plaza coffe bean to get myself a ice pure chocolate and a ice mocha for my bro..den my mum bought a choclate cake....den after went home...the p lvl preparation seems soooo short..but i reali did my best...i studed all i could..the whole of ci yu shou ce i study le so is like nth more le...left the compo..gonna study tml...even though be4 tat i study le..but muz recap again tml ma..thx God paper 2 start first...tat's a gd one..gonna pray for God's presence wif me and all my frenz....reali pray for damn gd brain and strength tml..all to God....
everytin seem soooo duno for me...went home frm angela place and nearly got knock down by car again....twice le....2 times le....veri scary reali...dunno when will there be a dae when i reali got knock down and eended in hospital...but reali thx god tat he reali held the car back if not....reali dunno how bad wil it be....so much tins happen....be4 tat gastric flu...becuz....den my favourite star key chain broke...becuz....nearly got knock down 2 times by a car..becuz....haiz...when i heard some tins...when i c some tins...eveytin flash back..all came back..a quite torturing time...still chose to feel numb to this feeling..cuz i noe..i noe tat if i allow myself to feel nw...tml's paper will be done veri veri badly...so i chose to be numb...believe me frenz....im not strong at all...im juz a normal person....but all i could do is to let it become or turn numb...reali dun wan them to be worried for me...dun wan them to c me not happy...i will be okie de....but not nw...allow me to be numb....juz for once....
tins will become better de...there will be one dae...when i reali will smile the kind of smile which i meant....and the real me will be back...back to disturb and craze wif all my frenz and buddies...afterall all im left is God,family and my dearest dearest budies....

tml is the start of o lvl..o lvl chinese tml...recieve quite a no. of encouragement..thx to all..wil do my best de....veri sian and tire..went to angela hse to study...finish study le..den on her com...den juz trying to post sometin down..dunno wat im feeling..but after tml..i believe some trapped feelings can flow more smoothly ba...listen to mp3 ytd..and slept wif it...veri nice songs..but found out tat it add more to my sadness...dunno wats happening.....will be waiting ba...wait wait and wait....dunno la....juz let everytin go ba....its urs..it will be..if not..die die wanna hold aso no use..onli wil worsen everytin....

reali bad tins happen..like wat i expected..i alrdy got sense sometin le..indeed it reali happen....veri sad..reali....wan lian sae she pei fu wor de jian qiang..no..im not at all...wanna let out my felings....reali....but how???? tears????maybe wat my lao po was right...maybe im juz retarded to the feeling...reali dunno how should i reacte...i dun bear..seriously....reali dun...reali fell apart but i thank god for being there...but lotz of tins reali happen..suddenl feel veri weak...veri veri weak thruout...everytin is like a hole in my life...dunno wats going to happen..will there be a contiue story???or will it juz end???dunno but i believe tat God plan it out le...if there is meant to be a continue story..there wil be..if not..i'll juz acept wat im given nw...afterall...im alrdy given lotz of tins le...
o lvl chinese is juz 2 more daes?? nxt mon...quite scare...veri veri stress and tire...wana get high results..can ma???i can ma??? dunno..dun wanna my paremts to sad...i will do my best de..
there r a lot of tins in this world...whereby the truth will nv be revealed...juz let this particular tin be 1 ba...

veri sad..damn sad...reali..tins juz....but i still thx God for every single moment..be it happy or sad..this 2 months indeed is a veri precious moment for me..i will cherish everytin de..wat will happen in the future i dunno...but i believe tat God will do the best for me...dun blame anyone...if tins r fated....God will plan again de....juz gonna wait...even if there is no ending..its okie aso...

went to sch todae for chinese supp..so tire todae..didnt wanna go de..no choice exam coming soon...dun go like not veri gd like tat so no choice go lor....den finali lesson ended at 930 veri gd haha den quickly went home at first wanna slp de but in the end no...went to use the com instead den after tat when to bathe and quickly rush out again to GB...som presentation need to do up ....tml got presentation...haiz..den yea todae parade dunno how to describe...juz can sae tat reali c lotz of tins....reali lotz..even the devotion topic was like..haiz..dunno la...juz gonna leave to God...and everytin will be fine...defintely it will....

todae went to sch the same tin...was in sch..so sian.veri tire...feel like slping...the whole dae was like sorting out all my files....so mani ws need to settle..den have to redo content page..reresort all the ws...all in a big mes.... hha mdn pang still wanna use mine as a sample..haha no way!!!! haha so mesy no face to let her c haha..den erm yea...nw at angela hse...doing up the GB tins..sun got presentation..pray tat everytin will be fine..tml got chinese supp..so sian early in the morning gona wake up den after tat 12 got rehearsal for the presenttion...den after tat GB p[arade....haiz one whole dae uz pass like tat...still worying bout sometin...God help me ba....gonna leave everytin to God...even though bu she de..but no chioce..sometimes tins juz happen like tat...come and pass....tats life....aniway juz gonna trust God...everytin will be fine..even if times were damn bad...God is there...he wil be the one wiping my tears giving me everytin tat suit me the most....haiz..tat's life.....
gonna live my life well and rejoicing in everytin God give me.....dun worry ba uncle!!!! haha.....
o lvl mt more and more close to me le...so scary....dunno how lei...haiz juz gonna do my last run...last lap...and trust tat God is there....

quite long nv post le ba i guess..even if i post aso those veri short de..this few daes juz got back all my mid yr exam results..can sae tat..thank God i pass english!!!!! was so scare tat i might fail cuz if fail all the rest of my results all go into drain le.....all my results were okie...all of them tink tat yea tat's a gd result gd job...but i noe myself...if i study harder i can do better....juz cant pass my own expectation...all the the results to me were gd....so i guess i shouldnt be tat greedy...juz noe tat all my math i did my best haah...yea was happy....juz tat all the sc...somehow gave up bio for the time being during the mid yr exam cuz i noe tat its impossibel to finish revision within 2 weeks for 19 chap noeing tat the 2 weeks were not onli meant for bio..still got other sub de ma...so i study as much as i could for bio..but i promise myself nxt time...i will get A2 for bio ^-*
chem and physic was in a total mess....yea gd results...but not wat i wan....if i had put more time for both....will be better ba...juz can sae tat this whole mid yr exam was chaotic...but God was there..he gave me the wisdom...signal me wat to do and all tat...so when i got back all my papers..my first reaction was..thank God...reali thank Him tat he's there....always...my parents were quite sastisfy by my results thank God...if got i will get nagged for always using the phone..at least i noe tat when im using the phone...my results maintain...
messy week..o lvl chinese is 2 weeks frm nw..dunno 2 or 1 la..aniway its near..veri near....nxt week will be a total chinese wek for us..every lesson will be chinese and nth else...aiming for A1 for chinese dunno can ma...will juz do my best..rest...to God ba!!!
can somehow feel all the stress coming le..frm myself and the sch..muz jia you..cannot give up...haiz..tire ar o lvl....so wat......
todae damn angry wif mr raj....wat the....he tink he wat..anihow sae us..sae we nv sing....the guys voice so loud..they were all practically shouting...how can we win their voice..nv hear us den assume we nv sing...he blind ar...nv c our mouth open..wat gives him the right to sae we nv sing when hes not beside us.....he nv hear doesn mind we nv sing OK!!!!!juz cant stand him..sooo unreasonable...juz wun admit his own mistakes....hu he tinks he is..juz a small teacher okie!!!!believe for the rest of my days in SMB..i wun respect him le...wat the...veri wat lor...keep wanting us to sing...sec 3 and 4 got 600 plus student..he so li hai..go listen to each one sing la....wat makes him tink tat all of the rest sang when juz becuz their voice is louder den us????sec 4 gers bu shi hao qi fu de OKIE!!!!!sae wat nv expect us to scream or shout..come on la..he sae until like tat...stil dare to like tat sae...juz make sure tml the same tin wun happen or else not onli suhaila..i will aso go qural wif him de...not hapy call my parents lor..i gastric pain again he suffer for me izzit..do tins nv use brain de lor....
aiyo so angry..c la make me like wat like tat...haiz nvm nvm muz forgive haha dun tink le la..tink le more angry....

todae mid yr exam finish le...finali juz came back frm angela hse...went to do the GB international tin...sometimes im wondering...wat i reali wan....dun noe wat im tinking sometimes...yea im happy...so??? den??? i reali veri sad...dunno y...sooo far...veri far...everytin was soo far...near yet far...nearly got knock down by car todae..dunno wat im tinking...juz walk walk walk..den nv c den the car nearly ran past me....so scary.....my fren kept shouting at me but i juz didnt hear...wat am i doing!!!!
o lvl MT bout to start..quite scary...preparing le...bout to start i guess...but...haiz.....forget it...my mind reali juz got 1 word : hopeless....reali hopeless...everytin fall...reali fall...wat i wan???? i dunno.....how i feel??? i aso dunno....

nw at angela hse..juz finish doing the GB tins...so nw relaxing...later going piano....haiz...tire le...reali tire le..dunno wat to do...juz wana sae im onli a normal..i got temper and emotions sometimes de...but since luving him..i ve none.....

veri sian damn sian wat the....i reali veri......ytd when i was slping.....i was woke up by a dream...i dreamt bout two gers...this two gers i once had a veri close relationship wif...one is a veri close fren..but she reali did damn bad tins...i reali veri sad veri disappointed veri angry...continued praying for her for the past 3 yrs...i dun hate her le..reali..but the tin is..the heart juz cant heal ...i cant trust her like wat i did in the past le..ppl sae once bitten twice shy..i was bitten twice by the same person....how can i stilll trust????
the nxt ger..not tat close actuali but the relationship is not normal de la...i trusted her sooo much.....but y!!!!! y she chose to......reali angry wif her....i wanna forgive reali wan..trying to..even if i forgive...the sadness and disappointment in me...it can nv be healed de......
msg one person...he didnt even bother to....y?????? wasnt there when i fel...wasnt there when i crumble......wanna leave eveytin.....

todae went to c my blor again haha found out tat the words change again!!!! hhah nw den i noe is the com prob.....when i use the livving room com everytin fine and normal...but when i use my bro com haha everytin diff le wor haha.....
todae was the emath paper 2 and physic paper....the emath was like reali quite difficult i should sae...do until veri tire wor...start frm the first page den panick le..haha den i no choice i start frm the back haha...den yea after tat every tin went back to normal.....den nxt paper was physic...reali hope to score well...
my finger seems to be aching..duno y....die le....
there will be a piano concert by my piano teacher's student...held by my piano teacher at dunno which studio.....haiz every yr the same....went there twice...last few times is i siam haha i bluff sae i forgot...nw cannot bluff le...haha been practicing the piece i gonna play...haha funny piece cuz is a grade 5 de...actuali should sae dun even tink is grade 5.....cuz veri veri simple..cant imagine i finish the whole piece in less den 1 hr!!!!haha so can comfirm not grade 5 de
finali exams r reaching its corner....sooo happy....promise myself tat the nxt exam will be better...this time reali dunno lor...i got a feeling it will be okie...but maybe becuz i to ambitious or wat dunno la....juz wanna do better lor..wanna aim for high marks...haiz....will jia you de aniway...ming tian hui geng hao!!!!!

todae was the lit and a math paper 1...combine lit..hmmm..not bad todae the qns...i did my best le...frm wat i c...akll the sub during the exams...i reali did my veri best...crack my brains to do all the qns....juz gonna leave the rest to God...tml is emath paper 2 and combine sc....physic paper tml...gonna jia you cuz my practical haha....haiz....
juz gonna end here..todae is a happy dae...... haha
still in search of moonlight sonata.....

juz change a new piece of music..was looking for moonlight sonata...haiz but cant..reali luv tat piece lotz...veri mysterious and grand piece of music.....but nvm wil continue to look for it de...cant find the one i wan instead found this....melodies of life...aso veri nice...sweet gentle and full of ups and downs..juz like a person's life...great music ^-*

went to c my blog todae...found out tat the tezt type actuali change...haha sooo funny nv touvh can aso change...haiz gona find out wat happen...
todae was the practical damn paiseh sia todae...dun wana sae but is reali veri paiseh lor....haiz dun care la....den erm yea todaes paper dun have confidence juz hope can pass can le....
when ytd i finish the bio paper...feel sooo gd actuali...finali a heavy load out...thx God for the guiding...cuz when i was studying some particular chap..i discover tat no matter how much time i spend on those...it juz cant get into my mind...instead sometin is telling me to go to other chaps....den when i was ding the paper ytd...i found out tat those chaps tat i cant concentrate on....didnt come out!!! haha reali thx God prompting....
tire le..feeling veri tire....but im still tat stuborn....agree wat jocez sae...y cant pple be more real
???y izzit tat when u believe in someone so whole heartedly and suddenly u found out tat they lie to u?? haiz....kinda forgive her le....but the hurt is still there...believe tat this hurt is not as much as wat tat guy is feeling.....
thx angela for encouraging me haha....yea u're right..im stressng myself....dunno y....tats sometin bad bout me ba....but thru all the stressing period...God's presence was revealed more clearly...admit tat sometimes when tins go too smoothly....pple wun realize tat a wonderful God is there....there to help and be a refuge....onli when tins go wrong and when they felt hopeless...they began to rmb him...haiz....me lei...i was like tat in the pass but nw okie le la....began to realize how important god is in my life...how important it is to have him so tat i can live happily ever after ^-* haha like fairytale like tat....

ytd someone called me to tell me sometin..which shock me out of my life...y she wanna lie to me???such a hypocrite....being a 2 timer got so fun ma???y she wanna hurt someone hu luvs her so much???so much tat even when he knew she cheated on him..he still luvs her....so angry tat she lie to me..felt sooo foolish..y in the first place i wanna believe her...if i nv believe..tins wun be like tat le...i trusted in her so much....wat the...juz simply feel kinda disappointed...disappointed in her.....nv gona believe her again...pray for god to give me the heart to forgive her....even though can forgive....but nv gonna believe again...
todae went to service...thx god cuz at first cant go de...no umbrella cant go...so no choice..but thx god cherie's father sen me and her there...everytin was kinda fine nw....at home studying...still got 8 chaps of bio to complete...seems mission impossible but i will finish de....jia you !!!!
todae was rather ashame....heard the sermon topic and was like..haiz.....i will haiz....dunno wat to sae la....aniway the whole dae was dampened by tat person...FORGET IT !!!!!

sooo despo this few daes....firstly is tat mid yr exam going on...okie la still studying veri fine juz tat veri veri stress and tire lor...no choice i dun wan my maam to take my phone as a reason y my exams are not gd..soo i die die aso wanna score wat i normally score...so was giving myself stress this few daes...juz wanna pray hard for my results...i noe wat im doing so i believe everytin would be fine...but ytd was veri angry....my parents nag at me sae i ytd nv study./..how to study.???? i alrdy veri tire le lor...y cant i juz rest??? my results got sooo bad until they have to interfer my studies ma???? dun tink so lor....ever since sec sch....my studies is ke yi jian ren de lor....so juz cant understand them....y no matter how gd i score...they will still interfer how i study???? i reali got so immmature to plan myself ma??? so sian lor ytd kana nag by them....
secondly is tat my parents lie to me lor...she sae i can use my own money to buy the dress if i wan...but she suddenly dun let....wat the...she dun keep her promise lor...i hate tat..and somemore is got reason i okie la nvm got reason ma...but is no reason de lor..she sae no means no...y cant she ask me y i like tat dress so much???she dun understand me instead she feels wat i do is rediculous...like chatting on phone..wat's the big deed??? y cant she let me chat on the phone??i chat she not happy..den i no choice use msg lor...den overshot she scream like i kil someone....wat can i do to stop all these???she reali lor...haiz i noe she cares for me lotz...i noe she dote on me lotz...but sometimes she juz expect me to meet her expe tation....wat i feel is...if i am able to produce desirable exams or test results..den i juz hope tat my parents can give me all the freedom i wan...but they cant lor..haiz...
nxt lei haiz...dunno lor...wat i feel is like..when someone is reali damn down...they dun even have the mood to blog anitin down..so i quite disagree to wat jonathan sae actuali...ytd went to did sometin...i admit tat wat i did actuali partly is becuz wanna c if he's there..but failed...in the end...ownself fever nw plus gasstric flu...haiz....off my phone ytd..but in the end i couldnt resist the temptation and i on my phone again...he called me....i noe he veri busy i nv blame him for anitin but......actuali he reali not bad le....care for me even though he's busy so i nv expect anitin...jua feel veri tire this few daes...haiz....wat the pastor sae todae was rite....
miss sharon got marry todae!!!! so happy for her..but gonna miz her...she's reali a gd officer..even if we do sometin wrong she nv scream at us before...reali thx her becuz she make us hu we r nw...P2 gonna miz u take care !!!!

this few daes have been posting veri veri veri seldom...haiz too busy le..everytime bz bout sometin....tml mid yr starts...a total waste of our time...so sian....aniway will jia you...do my best in it...dun wanna let anione down....sooo jiz you ba...staying up late this few daes cuz of bio..haiz spent 2 hrs ytd for 3 chaps of bio...soo time consuming..no choice will do my best in it cuz tat's the sub i like most....tml chinese paper..haven study onli study damn little...jia you again ba....

eNcI

Mood:for ever happy go lucky

looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy.

will not get up set easily( if she does than its no small prob )

dun ask her to sit down quietly cuz its like killing her

will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern.

a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt.

often sae sometin which lets u tink whether u should hate of luv her

a free spirit and does not like to stay home.

likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.

will listen if she respect you.

likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.

a no nonsense woman because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.

sees problems in her love life as another funny story.

screw tins up rather easily but nv allows tins to continue to fail clumsy and it is in her nature.

very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends.

could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money.

a paranoid.

loves sports.

likes going straight and being straight forward.

will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something









.God,fReNz,hIm

.hElLo kItTy,h@pPy h$3,t@t+y b3@r

.family(will it be the same??)

.music,piano,guitar,violin,drum,cello

.cheerleading(it rox 4eva),my hp,happiness,shopping

.lotz n lotz of real nice clothes (top n bottom), shoes tat loks special to me bla bla bla

.chocolates , and aso not to forget my meiji coco milk which i cant start my dae well without tat ^-*

DREAMS

. wishlist .
.wish everyone happy,frenz happy,Him happy n accept christ,pass grade 8 wif at least merit,gd health

.wish to have lotz n lotz of clothes(well which ger will find her clothes too much???)

.wish buy lotz of happy hse n hello kitty tins

.wish everytin to go smoothly for everyone

.wish for a transparent grand piano (earn $ lor :p),guitar,transparent violin

.six_ties will always be the same like before

.be able to play a piece of music tat belongs to me

.for a real nice n wonderful bdae

GLAMOUR

tat's me
shermaine jessilyn qian angela jocelyn jolene sarah jolie leonard joleen mei xiang sumei yvonne jun wen melissa jiawen chern fern jeslyn jocez cindy nicholas eileen elvis fifa melvin sabrina xinyan hui wen ting felicia meili jia ying yingsi yeok ling ru yin jason derrick info darryl debbie hui ling heng kai ken baby alissa shu hua alvin david brenda jonathan nico jing han shui fan hong hwee diana

&archive

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SPLENDOUR

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GRAMOPHONE

GLORY

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