Sunday, April 30, 2006

a new puma bag...actuali wanna buy green de but nvm pink is nice too haha..den finali got a belt which i can use for my mickey pants which far too big...den okie lor...juz change my blog music to JJ new song : sarang hae yo....veri nice song...luv it ya...
finali mum allowed me to work..fianli!!! im working every sat

miss sherine knew bout me n him..she was disappointed...but for me..im veri guilty..i noe im at fault..i juz dunno wat to do..i reali dunno...frm the start ive alrd noe tat ive to face this prob sooner or later..but i didnt expect myself to be so blank when the tin reali happens...

i reali hope tat my piano can continue...i reali hope tat...i dun wanna give up...ive always hope for the dae..when i got my grade 8 cert..its a dream...its a dream of every pianist to get their grade 8 cert.....den slowly diploma...a grand piano...a concert tat belongs to them...i aso dream of tat..but i wan it to be simple..i juz wan a grade 8 cert..tat's all..i juz hope tat i can play a piece of music of my own..a music tat can accompany my in times of trouble happiness etc...but i have to give up...give up this dream..but no matter wat i noe..i noe tat i will eveutally get my garde 8 cert..cuz i will work hard for it...

me n mum quarel again ytd...wat the..i noe she cares for me..i noe she has got her reasons...but can i noe sometin...y is it tat she nv tink frm my point of view??? y is it tat she nv bothers to go n understand y i did certain tins???instead she juz scold..blames..im too stress n tire frm my studies...my piano....me n him...i need a brk...all i wan is her to comfort me n give me strength...not continuously bark at me for coming home late ...i hate to stay at home ..cuz when im at home..i will rrmb all the tins i need to study..[wat's wrong wif me?? its onli the beginning n im soo stress alr.....i wan to get into a uni...dun u get it??i force myself to study n force my way thru...tat's y im tire]...if she were there to comfort..i wun be like tat ....i wun dread bout going home...i dread bout going home every nw n den cuz i noe when i go home there wun be anione who will hold me n cheer me up..[but when im outside ive him...he holds me n cheers me up...my frenz making me foreva hapy..]i dun wan anitin....i juz wan her comfort...but all she noes is tat im being disobedient n stubborn..always tinking im not i fault...i noe by going home late is my fault..i noe my body is weak so i need enuff slp..all these i noe..but i reali need a brk..juz a moment of rest frm my fast paced life...if she doesnt wan me to have a brk..den she should be there to comfort me ... talk to me like before...juz like the time when im having my o lvls...teach me pals..am i being unreasonable??? ive always trying to be obedient n trying my best not to brk her heart cuz i noe my bro did..but when i reali need her she onli scold me.. trust me pals.i promise i will nv quarrel wif her again..cuz every attempt of quarelling is me hoping tat she could understand me n care for me.but since all these atttempts didnt work den forget it..i wun bother to let her understand me animore..im juz myself..i willbe her "gd ger" n foreva i will be...
canu imagine??? i cried to slp ytd

hmm veri long nv online le..recently lotz of tins hapen...okie folks...im not learning piano for the time being..cuz according to my mum : 1) my body is too weak to handle the stress... symtoms for tat = hands shivering dunno y aso. facial expression. lac of proper slp etc
2)since i have the foundation nxt time wanna learn again is not a prob
3) wat if i cant handle sch n piano?? im left wif nth
tat's y eventually i stopped piano. believe me pals i got one thousand n one reasons for not wanting to drop piano....but ive got no choice..i can onli to submit myself under my mum's authority...gosh...i reali hate the thought of it...the time ive spend in practicing the 3 pieces..even though short but its the effort tat counts.....the effort i put in it can nv be measured...haiz i trust u God....tat everytin wil be fine....
sch was fine??? veri stress ba..a lot of tins to study..or is it me giving myself stress???tat's me...im weak i admit...im not the ger u guys tink i am....i juz onli wan care n concern
fri will be our 3rd month...wao stil got long way to go....pa i wan everytin to last as long as it can de...tat's my ans to u...veri long nv c him le..dunno he gd ma..juz got to noe tat he;'s down wif flu...take care pa

boi dun be jealous wateva...u r diff frm ani body else...if u wan me to treat u like how i treat my frenz..den u r not special in my heart animore bu shi ma??? i treat my frenz in a specail way...pa in a special way..u definately aso veri special..so dun tink too much k..

wat can i sae i aso dunno..but i was kinda disappointed bout u...i came all the way to the outlet...though im rushing for time juz 2 c u..n partly to fulfil my promise..but all u did is to do ur tins..u wanna help uncle i nth to sae...but cant u juz take few mins out to tok to me?? juz tat few mins veri hard ma??? but u didnt...boi....im stress up by lotz of tins...reali... i wanna hold everytin but u did not give me confidence at all..wat;s the point of me suffering so much when u juz dun seems to regad me as someone important to u???wat's the point of me having to feel the guilt when u juz...i reali duno wat to sae boi..i didnt noe whether im selfish or wat to ignore u the whole dae..all i can sae is...im reali veri disappointed..other tins seems to be more important den me...n its not the first time le... i noe u dote on me lotz..care for me lotz etc...but feelings without actions is equals to words without deeds...

haven been working for yrs i tink..haha juz started sch..lecture was veri tough..tins gets harder n harder each dae...piano is going dunno where..pls dun force me to stop wateva im holding onto..its not tat easy to learn these 3 pieces of music..i dun wanna end it juz like tat!

hmmm so wat can i sae??? basically i went thru a lot this few daes...i onli worked 2 days or 3 rather last week...n michael was veri guilty of tat...did i sae tat be4?? haah erm have i mentioned tat be4??? aniway i bought a new shorts n new shirt...4 pairs of ear ring tat ive been searching for ages,...tat's all?? haha have i sae tat be4???
aniway on mon i went for orientation..veri scare reali..cuz alone...but hu noes?? God is reali veri gd..he provided me wif a veri gd fren.her name is cheryl....she has got a character exactly like me...haha veri crappy veri blur veri bad sense of direction kinda bad sense of timing n our freq is veri much alike..so we click reali veri well on the veri first dae...didnt noe tat juz by shifting my place i will get to noe this wonderful person..God reali plan it real well..if i didnt change my place i will nv get to noe her...i trust tat this is a fren god has given me...ever since wat hapened to me be4 all i can sae is..i kinda dun dare to trust anione..onli some...so ive been praying real hard tat God will provide me wif a fren tat i can reali trust .... i have faith in Him tat she is the one...we promised to be real close sister n i truely believe tat all these promises will nv be broken...
went to work todae....opening...met him veri early cuz he needs to go sch early...pa sae tat it was veri nice of me to pei him like tat...n hopes tat he noes wat is the reason for me to do all these....will he noe ma??? will he noe tat this whole week i will be veri busy n im gonna miss him like hell??? will he aso miss me??? juz tat little??? will he ever noe tat when sch reopens im so afraid tat i will be unable to cope?? so much so tat i will choose to give up wat im holding onto??? pls...boi..i dun wanna give up..show me...juz show me a little.. tat this whole relationship is worth it for me to hold onto ,no matter wat difficulties im facing..

bought a new pair of slippers...new shirt..new pants...yesh! i guess this is the best ever tin tat has happened to me soo far..but my $$$ pain ar ...

was kinda disappointed this few daes...he came back on mon...but im unable to c him..im working...at nite he actauali wana come but was aso unable cuz he was too tire...i dun blame him cuz i noe camp surely will veri tire de so i dun expect to c him....on mon veri little customer n aso veri little ppl working..i was the onli one hu worked until closing...tgt wif wei teck...waki n yee kiat..obviously yee kiat n waki both kitchen closing...wei teck cashier...n me the onli one outside...its so damn tough to work closing alone for outside..veri grateful to yi da jing han n alvin...alvin helped me wif the trays.yi da wif the serving n clearing...n jing han helped me close the back...sanitize table...n mop n sweep the back part..reali thx lotz to them...den at ten or dunno la...they go le...i rushed the whole place...veri hard reali..the sauce n all these...finali finish at dunno wat time la...den okie le go back...nxt dae i went out early to past nicole his apron n cap..hu noes his time is changed to six...den on my way to mrt station....the rain was so damn big...my slipper spoil half way!!! gosh so suay...de nvm mum brought my shoes to look for me..den okie la i go down pepper lunch...



i was soo disappointed when i heard u sae : i waiting for xiao hua...its not the person tat matters if u sae u r waiting for tim, yida or anione...i will aso be disappointed...cuz y cant u stay for my sake?? when obviously u nv did....u can wait for a fren..but not ur stead???? wat the...i was so damn upset...when i reached there..i didnt expect u guys will leave so early...when i was there i didnt c u....den i asked tim..den i noe tat u alr left le..at nite u came to look for me...but u were soooo tire...dun bear to be angry animore...so i changed the atmosphere to be light..but u didnt reacte at all....the nxt dae..how much i hope tat u can pei wor..juz tis time..but u were still veri tire...when i heard how tire u were..i dun even bother to sae out the request but juz ask u to rest well...guess wat...u went to work at 2 when michael phoned u...hua was rite..im veri upset but...no point...



hua i dun mean to mention ur name..u noe i wun pin point u de...juz cant accept the fact tat he can wait for a fren but not his stead....

ytd was a fun dae??? wai wai finali go le..haha i veri bad hor...waki is going too i guess...phew...haha aniway ytd the party was..haha took a little beer??? all of us were soooo high...den we piggy back each other....hua piggy back me....den yida pigyback nicole etc...haha sooo fun lor...we were like crazy sia!!! den pa was kinda sry for letting me have the beer...i asked for it..he gave me den jing han sae : wa lao so gd.... den he sae : all my hopes r on her lei !!!
haa kinda touch when heard tat....
ytd tat beer reali works well on me...kinda reali miss him...wif tat beer made me slp well..not sad at tat moment juz happy damn happy....wif frenz surrounding n high tgt..den the nxt dae he will be back..isnt tat gd???i was blurred by it...aso dunno wat i talking haha but its reali a fun dae...but!!!! cannot too often cuz i noe its not pleasing to God....

oh no can u guys believe it !!! i stayed at home for the whole day!!!no work...off wat...no GB..dunno y aso..n finali !!! no shopping...haiz...he went for camp le..how to manage those days lei???today i guess its the most meaningful day ive spent...firstly i woke up damn late...secondly i watched 1 hr tv...ate my breakfast..den had my quiet time ( veri long nv have le :( ) den after tat lunch...watch tv..use com...watch tv...play piano...n finali watch tv again n have dinner...read story bk..oh gosh..im going crazy man !!!! haiz
tml working at 6...but he's not there..eventually i wanna thx God...cuz my apron n cap was found! n last but not least..my ring...gobi found it..thx God...
going for speech day..but guess wat..im wearing a gio top n jeans over there..its bad to wear tat...not formal but hu cares...haha aniway hopefully it will be fine wearing tat...
nobody's arnd to pei wor...haiz yo !


[r u willingly to put tat ring back onto my hand???]

eNcI

Mood:for ever happy go lucky

looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy.

will not get up set easily( if she does than its no small prob )

dun ask her to sit down quietly cuz its like killing her

will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern.

a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt.

often sae sometin which lets u tink whether u should hate of luv her

a free spirit and does not like to stay home.

likes to be protected, but not to give her orders.

will listen if she respect you.

likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.

a no nonsense woman because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy.

sees problems in her love life as another funny story.

screw tins up rather easily but nv allows tins to continue to fail clumsy and it is in her nature.

very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends.

could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money.

a paranoid.

loves sports.

likes going straight and being straight forward.

will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something









.God,fReNz,hIm

.hElLo kItTy,h@pPy h$3,t@t+y b3@r

.family(will it be the same??)

.music,piano,guitar,violin,drum,cello

.cheerleading(it rox 4eva),my hp,happiness,shopping

.lotz n lotz of real nice clothes (top n bottom), shoes tat loks special to me bla bla bla

.chocolates , and aso not to forget my meiji coco milk which i cant start my dae well without tat ^-*

DREAMS

. wishlist .
.wish everyone happy,frenz happy,Him happy n accept christ,pass grade 8 wif at least merit,gd health

.wish to have lotz n lotz of clothes(well which ger will find her clothes too much???)

.wish buy lotz of happy hse n hello kitty tins

.wish everytin to go smoothly for everyone

.wish for a transparent grand piano (earn $ lor :p),guitar,transparent violin

.six_ties will always be the same like before

.be able to play a piece of music tat belongs to me

.for a real nice n wonderful bdae

GLAMOUR

tat's me
shermaine jessilyn qian angela jocelyn jolene sarah jolie leonard joleen mei xiang sumei yvonne jun wen melissa jiawen chern fern jeslyn jocez cindy nicholas eileen elvis fifa melvin sabrina xinyan hui wen ting felicia meili jia ying yingsi yeok ling ru yin jason derrick info darryl debbie hui ling heng kai ken baby alissa shu hua alvin david brenda jonathan nico jing han shui fan hong hwee diana

&archive

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006

SPLENDOUR

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GRAMOPHONE

GLORY

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pictures} deviantart
brushes} 100x100
image host} imageshack
photoshop} adobe photoshop 7.0